I wonder what happened to the Coachella Creep?
Meet Gordie. He’s a middle aged man going through what middle aged men do best: a midlife crisis.
In short, this 56-year old man is looking for a very specific kind of gal to bring to this weekend’s festival. To be specific, she must be:
- Between the ages of 19-25. (Can anyone say age appropriate? But who am I to judge? Alright, keep going there Gordo…)
- Be comfortable traveling in a vintage RV. (Sweet ride pictured. Acceptable.)
- Be Coachella fashionable, provide Coachella playlist for drive, & brings road snacks. (All acceptable. What’s the big deal here?)
- Must not be into drugs, pot. (Has this guy done ANY research about Coachella? This is starting to get odd.)
- Must keep feet and hands moisturized at all times (….wait, WHAT?!?)
- Allow Gordie to hand hold, have “periodic moments of extended eye contact, allow Gordie to “brush your hair once per day.” (Didn’t I see this movie? Something about Buffalo Bill…)
- Must post minimum of 4 photos of the two of your together (you know, to publicize your bad decisions to friends and family)
- You must say “I am naughty” twice during the trip…and at least once, Gordie wants you to say “[I] didn’t know how this would go, but [I’m] actually having a good time.” (He’s SCRIPTING your creepy trip. Run away. And run fast.)
Sadly, the ad was taken down rather quickly. But you can see what it looked like here. So does this mean he found a date? (If this guy was even real….or instead, a parody.)
I know people REALLY are into Coachella. But ending up as a prisoner in Gordie’s basement for the next ten years? Maybe just shell out the $1000, huh? — [eric]
