Sunday is the biggest night in movies, the Oscars. The annual parade of stars who want to win an award while other stars and the world watch them win will be broadcast on ABC. The show will go down in Los Angeles, but the real show might be how we all riff on the proceedings in our own watch parties with our Twitter feed flying faster than Superman. Let’s just hope we get something as memorable as the blunder last year over the Best Picture announcement, and the shining comedy talent that is host Jimmy Kimmel.
- Here is the complete list of nominees for the 2018 Oscar Awards
- Celebrate everything BEER with us on Saturday March 10th with WINDY CITY BREWHAHA at the Geraghty
And we will be drinking, enter RollingStone‘s Oscar Drinking Game. Yes. if happens on the TV you take a swig! No matter what movie you root for, this will be a fun way to get saucey while a Hollywood star tries remember their agent’s assistant’s name. Kudos to RS for basically putting together a drinking game that insures you will be feeling it when final award is presented.
Drink THE FIRST TIME:
1. Jimmy Kimmel makes a joke in which the punchline is the title of one of the Best Picture nominees. (Take another slug if the nominee in question is Get Outor Darkest Hour. Take a third shot if the joke involves one of those titles AND is somehow about Trump.)
2. There’s a joke about Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri that uses a picture of actual billboards. (We’d say drink EVERY time this happens, but we do not want to flood hospital emergency rooms.)
3. A presenter or winner brings up the notion of diversity. Double the drink if they somehow use it to also promote an upcoming project.
4. There’s an earnest reference to #MeToo and/or #TimesUp.
5. Someone actually says the word “hashtag” when referencing either of those movements.
6. The name “Harvey Weinstein” is mentioned. Double the shot if there’s booing.
7. Kimmel (or someone else) makes a crack involving Mr. Weinstein and somehow ties it in to The Shape of Water‘s fish-man romance. For the record, we pray to God we do not have to acknowledge this rule during the broadcast.
8. Someone talks about how weird The Shape of Water is.
9. Someone says, “We’re ALL in the Sunken Place!”
10. Someone references how rarely horror gets nominated.
11. Someone references how rarely women directors get nominated.
12. Someone references how rarely African-American directors get nominated.
13. Someone references how rarely Tom Hanks gets nominated.
14. Someone references how rarely Steven Spielberg gets nominated.
15. Someone references how often Meryl Streep gets nominated.
16. Someone makes a joke about how often Meryl Streep wins.
Drink Every TIME:
17. There’s a joke about last year’s Best Picture Envelopegate (TM) incident. Please be careful with this one, it could get dangerous.
18. A winner makes an impassioned #MeToo and/or #TimesUp acceptance speech.
19. A winner screws up their impassioned #MeToo and/or #TimesUp acceptance speech. Double the amount if said winner is male.
20. News breaks that a nominee is being accused of sexual harassment/inappropriate behavior during the broadcast.
21. The camera doesn’t cut away quickly enough and you see a nominee betray how they really feel about losing.
22. The camera cuts to George Clooney after a joke, and he laughs, then looks to his right.
23. Someone makes a joke/comment involving race and the camera cuts to Jordan Peele.
24. Someone makes a joke/comment involving harassment or sexism and the camera cuts to Meryl Streep.
25. A winner thanks Meryl Streep in their speech.
26. Meryl Streep receives an impromptu ovation.
27. Dunkirk wins a technical award.
28. Anyone complains/jokes about a movie or performance not getting nominated. Double the amount if it involves Three Billboards “having apparently directed itself.” Triple the amount if said person somehow works in a Ben Affleck/Argo reference as well.
29. Someone mispronounces a nominee’s name. Double the shot if the name is Guillermo del Toro. Down the whole bottle if John Travolta is also somehow involved again.
30. An audience participation gimmick falls flat.
31. Somebody makes a joke about fishman/human sex in The Shape of Water.
32. Somebody makes a joke about peach/human sex in Call Me By Your Name.
33. An esteemed British acting nominee fails to show up.
34. The montage of the dead lets through just enough live sound to give you you a sense who people are really clapping for.
35. Someone on Twitter complains about someone being left out of the moratorium and, like, WTF, Academy?!? (Careful with this one, too.)
36. Any time someone jokes about how long the Oscar telecast runs. Double the shot if this happens during the fifth or sixth hour of the show.
37. Jimmy Kimmel apologizes for being another white dude host.
FINISH THE BOTTLE IF:
38. Jordan Peele accepts an award as one of his Key & Peele characters. Drink two bottles if it’s Wendell Sanders.
39. A winner who tells the audience to visit a URL to get more information about his/her pet political cause.
40. A winner refers to his/her project as “a labor of love.”
41. The words “powerful,” “important” and/or “brave” are used. Double the shot if the phrase “now more than ever” is also used.
42. You swear you’re never watching the Oscars again, then remember you said the exact same thing last year.